Wednesday 28 May 2008

abandon ship

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photo | sinking feeling

i’ve been waiting for someone in the local press to fire a shot across the bow of the seattle mariners’ sinking ship…

As the losses stack, so do the votes of confidence.

The manager’s job is safe, supposedly.

The general manager’s job is safe, allegedly.

The players’ jobs are safe, definitely.

When a team that pledged to make the playoffs loses seven straight games, and 20 of 25, there should be no votes of confidence. The fear of firings, as well as trades and releases, should hover. It can make for a poisonous atmosphere, sure, but the Mariners have been poisoned for weeks.

ya think?

the mariners, as a team, go through the motions and act surprised at the end of the game when they’ve been blown out yet again. their vaunted starting pitching, breathlessly declared among the best in all creation before the season, has melted down like a bunch of little leaguers deprived of post-game treats.

the fielders haven’t fielded, and the hitters don’t. one-hundred seventeen million dollars worth of the worst record in major league baseball.

and according to everyone working for the mariners, no one’s job is in jeopardy.

as of this afternoon, the team is a bazillion games below .500. how bad will it have to get before someone says, “huh, this isn’t working out so well, is it?” and how long after that before someone in the organization actually does something to stop the water rushing in? how far below crush depth will the mariners sink before an SOS is issued?

these are rhetorical questions. as far as competing for a postseason berth, the mariners’ season is over. and sooner, rather than later, the team should begin preparing for next year.

sooner, rather than later, pitcher jarrod washburn (20-35 as a mariner) should be declared washed up and sent packing. sooner, rather than later, pitcher brandon morrow should be sent to tacoma to prepare for washburn’s vacated starting role. sooner, rather than later, richie sexson should be traded to anyone who will take him, for whatever the mariners can get. no offer should be considered insulting, as sexson’s batting average (currently .195) is insult enough.

the rest of the ‘08 season should be declared ’spring training ‘09′ with extended auditions by any worthy minor leaguers in the mariners’ farm system. jeff clement should be installed as starting catcher, backed up by kenji johjima. raul ibanez should move to first base, or into the designated hitter role, replaced in left field by vladimir balentien. jeremy reed should move into the right field slot.

let’s have a look at phenom pitcher phillippe aumont and wunderkind shortstop carlos triunfel. i want to see travis chick pitch, just because he’s got a major league-ready name.

anything would be better than what’s going on at safeco field these days. the team is zero fun to watch…except for the many and varied ways this team finds to lose from one day to the next. i mean, the fans know they’re going to lose, the players know they’re going to lose, the excitement is in the specifics of the come-apart.

john mclaren could run a team of zombies out there and get a livelier performance. so…let him run some young players out there instead, and get them some major league experience. they may not win any more games, but they sure won’t win any less. and even if they do, it’s spring training. the games don’t count until next year.

at which point, maybe someone’s job security might not be so secure.

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3 Responses to “abandon ship”

I love this line:

john mclaren could run a team of zombies out there and get a livelier performance.

LOL! Zombies. The Undead. Lively.

very.frickin’.funny.

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