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Thursday 
27 December 2007
not for the faint of heart
growing old is not for sissies.
it’s hard work, getting all knurled and surly and grizzly.
it’s harder still if you weigh, you know, 350 pounds.
flashback: except for benjamin franklin, which heroes of american history were morbidly obese? none of them, right? daniel boone, george washington, teddy roosevelt, charles lindbergh, rudy giuliani…
why is that, do you suppose? i’ll tell you why: because none of them owned video games.
my son is still in shock that his christmas haul didn’t include a wii or an x-box or a game cube or a play station, or any other form of electronic crack. he considers such things his birthright, and belligerently points out that all his friends have at least one of these systems, and most have all of them.
i’m not sympathetic. but that’s because i’m old. and mean.
why do children have to be so childish? why can’t they just intuitively grasp the universal truths? or at least this…
“Don’t cry over things that can’t cry over you.”
i digress.
americans are drowning in epidemic obesity, largely because we can’t rouse ourselves from our self-induced tele-stupor. we have answered the euphio question, with all in favor saying, “supersize me.”
quality of life, health, bla bla bla…
According to a study by researchers at John Moore University in Liverpool, England, playing games such as ‘Wii Bowling’ and ‘Wii Sports’ only burn about 60 calories an hour, or a measly two-percent more than simply sitting on your rear.
i’ve met and spoken to people who insist using a wii is good exercise. really.
that’s fine. they’re entitled to spend their free time any way they like. to meet life’s little challenges in a manner that befits their gifts and talents.
i just don’t want my son to be one of them.
because i’m old. and mean.
* * * * *
full disclosure: i went through my own gaming phase, many moons ago. i spent countless hours and loads o’ dough that i wish i had back. it was fun while it lasted. but now i’m old. and mean. or so i’m told.
* * * * *
fuller disclosure: it’s true. i am old. and mean. and knurled and grizzly. or is it grizzled?
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so, what did you get him?
coal?
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an embarrassment of riches. including some additions to his infernal ds collection.
the boy wants for nothing. except a clue.