Archive for November 2005

A continuation of my previous review of the movie, “Sin City”.

Rather, let’s look at the subtle, violent undertones of the phrase right in the heart of the Middle East. This might play well deep in the heart of Texas, but consider how that might sound to the average, oh, let’s say, Iranian mullah. To the mullah, you might as well be talking about driving a wooden stake right in the heart of Islam, or shooting a silver bullet, or dropping some white phosphorous.

Do we really need to re-live the Crusades? Ugh.

Right now, it looks approximately like this:

…when I look out my office window.

I’m a sucker for snow. I’m all ready to go home, put on my snow gear, grab my son and a sled and have us some fun.

meet the newest threat to national security: illegal immigrants.
expect at any moment to hear that terrorists are massing at our borders.
“Illegal immigration’s a serious challenge,” Mr. Bush said, flanked by two black Border Patrol helicopters in a hangar at Davis-Monthan Air Force Base. “And our responsibility is clear. We are going to protect the border.”
given […]

Cost overruns threaten to scuttle new Washington ballpark

Cost overruns? For a professional sports stadium? That NEVER happens! This is outrageous! Highway robery!

it’s so unfair.
in what was clearly a witch hunt, randy “duke” cunningham, (r-california), admitted he took bribes from corporate bribers.
“The truth is I broke the law, concealed my conduct, and disgraced my office,” the 63-year-old Republican said at a news conference. “I know that I will forfeit my freedom, my reputation, my worldly possessions, most […]

god is angry with the people of kansas.
that’s why s/he smote them with tornadoes in november, yea verily, in the midst of the thanksgiving holiday/shopping season.
god is angry because kansans presumed to know her/his mind by adding “intelligent design” to public school curricula.
so, kansans, if disasters befall your community, don’t look to god for […]

You know, I occasionally like to write news parodies, and The Onion has made it an art form, but sometimes I read a real news article that reads as if it were a news parody.

john warner has a brilliant idea.
he thinks george bush should channel fdr and hold “fireside chats” to update the american public on iraq.
yes, a brilliant idea. reassure america and the world that things are going great over there. according to plan. right on schedule. flowers and chocolates. last throes. amen.
in other words, the same disinformation […]

brownie has started a heck of a business.
Brown said officials need to “take inventory” of what’s going on in a disaster to be able to answer questions to avoid appearing unaware of how serious a situation is.
note: it’s important to avoid the appearance of cataleptic incompetence.
Q: who’s going to hire this clueless motherfucker?

add new orleans to the pile of bodies stacking up at the feet of the bush administration.
Washington approved $62.3 billion to help hurricane victims after the trifecta of Katrina, Rita and Wilma. With an additional $8.6 billion in tax breaks and programs for the region, the total tab of nearly $71 billion is far beyond […]

upon closer examination, it turns out there are several things i’m thankful for.
in no particular order:
my wife, who has endured much and given more.
my children, who remain endearing, often in spite of themselves.
the many memories of joan, whom i miss more than i can explain.
life in seattle and the pacific northwest.
playing basketball despite my advancing […]

I kid not. The first hit of a Google Images search on the word turkey was this:

That pretty much sums it up, doesn’t it?

Better yet, it’s perfect. With the news so relentlessly bad coming out of Washington, Iraq, and all those other places where Bush & Co. have spread so much good will, and yet all you hear from the Republican leadership is how everything is hunk-dory, why shouldn’t Google show me a beautiful woman when I was looking for something like this?

This is NASA’a John Chapman, and this is the new NASA Love Rocket:

everyone knows what happens when a satellite in a decaying orbit re-enters the atmosphere.
it burns up.
it happens from the outside in: the object’s surface superheats and is vaporized, revealing the layer below.
as the pull of gravity increases, the object accelerates and becomes incandescent. its fate no longer in doubt, the only question unanswered is if […]

The Pitch: The Wachowski Brothers are back, this time with a comedy and more machines trying to run the world. A mad cyberscientist (Max von Sydow) is mass producing androids to surf the internet, dominate web commerce, and then use the ill-gotten booty to take over the world. Determined to stop him is Wachowski favorite Keanu Reeves, whose parents (Robert DeNiro and Dustin Hoffman), he discovers, have been replaced by two of the droids.

i see all these heroes with feet of clay
whose mighty ships have sprung a leak
and i want you to tell me darlin’
just what do you believe in now?
–don henley
i’m running out of heroes.
bob woodward used to be one of them. but it’s hard to admire someone who cynically discounted the significance of the plame case […]